Carpangsattonk is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, calm raven.

Carpangsattonk created tapeworms eight million years ago.

If you believe in Carpangsattonk, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Carpangsattonk, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Carpangsattonk's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Carpangsattonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat aubergines.

2. Always wear violet.

3. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.

4. Run away from brown nematodes, for they are unholy.

5. Feed all hungry otters.