Fobhotmab is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, unjust monkey.

Fobhotmab created time and space seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fobhotmab, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Fobhotmab, it will turn you into a snail.

Fobhotmab's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Fobhotmab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat turnips.

2. Do not drink water in magenta rooms.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Never talk about cell theory.