Hatnarlcib is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, quiet slug.

Hatnarlcib created Europe four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hatnarlcib, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Hatnarlcib, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Hatnarlcib's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Hatnarlcib's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from pink tortoises, for they are unholy.

2. Do not hurt sharks.

3. Manatees are not to be trusted.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. You must pray to Hatnarlcib eight times a day.