Gofpitvenfeb is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, slow badger.

Gofpitvenfeb created viruses eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gofpitvenfeb, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Gofpitvenfeb, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Gofpitvenfeb's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Gofpitvenfeb's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Gofpitvenfeb loves whales, so they must be respected.