Teennarlrip is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, selfish goose.

Teennarlrip created Mount Everest eight million years ago.

If you believe in Teennarlrip, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Teennarlrip, she will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Teennarlrip's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Teennarlrip's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. You must love Teennarlrip.

3. Never eat aubergines.

4. Never wear red stockings.

5. Do not wear aluminium on your body.