Hambomnutkanjig Jabvaggat is a god.

He takes the form of a large, effective dryad.

Hambomnutkanjig Jabvaggat created tapeworms four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hambomnutkanjig Jabvaggat, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Hambomnutkanjig Jabvaggat, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Hambomnutkanjig Jabvaggat's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Hambomnutkanjig Jabvaggat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Hambomnutkanjig Jabvaggat.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Do not speak about tomatoes.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.