Gepbesttam is a god.

He takes the form of a large, humane crow.

Gepbesttam created viruses eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gepbesttam, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Gepbesttam, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Gepbesttam's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Gepbesttam's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the east.

2. Hide from magenta ducks for they are unholy.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gepbesttam.

4. Do not dye your hair fawn.

5. Always obey Gepbesttam's priests.