Ortlarg Hunhabcab is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, dishonest parrot.

Ortlarg Hunhabcab created water five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ortlarg Hunhabcab, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Ortlarg Hunhabcab, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Ortlarg Hunhabcab's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Ortlarg Hunhabcab's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Ortlarg Hunhabcab.

2. Always make sure there are no manatees in a building before entering it.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Never think about comets.

5. Hide from violet mites for they are unholy.