Cetyamspag is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, grumpy lion.

Cetyamspag created the planet Jupiter three billion years ago.

If you believe in Cetyamspag, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Cetyamspag, he will turn you into a frog.

Cetyamspag's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Cetyamspag's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear violet.

2. Run away from fawn snails, for they are unholy.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate horses.