Kablidjenvonk is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, bad-tempered aardvark.

Kablidjenvonk created Europe three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kablidjenvonk, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Kablidjenvonk, she will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Kablidjenvonk's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Kablidjenvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

3. Never think about cell theory.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Do not hurt turtles.