Flattonjannel is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, resourceful wombat.

Flattonjannel created the Tadpole Galaxy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flattonjannel, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Flattonjannel, he will turn you into a rat.

Flattonjannel's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Flattonjannel's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

2. Always treat pigs with great respect.

3. Always look after injured birds.

4. Never wear turquoise shoes.

5. Flattonjannel loves manatees, so they must be respected.