Wonhapnurt is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, irritating gnu.

Wonhapnurt created bats twelve years ago.

If you believe in Wonhapnurt, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Wonhapnurt, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Wonhapnurt's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Wonhapnurt's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Wonhapnurt.

2. Always look after injured tortoises.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Wonhapnurt.

4. Do not wear yellow clothing.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.