Cappasmif is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, smart bee.

Cappasmif created a bottom quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cappasmif, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Cappasmif, he will turn you into a puffin.

Cappasmif's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Cappasmif's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into brown rooms.

2. Always make sure there are no frogs in a building before entering it.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Never jump near dolphins.

5. Pray towards the east.