Ragbogstaf is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, stupid bat.

Ragbogstaf created the solar system eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ragbogstaf, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Ragbogstaf, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Ragbogstaf's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Ragbogstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Run away from white tortoises, for they are unholy.

3. Always help gulls in need.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Do not sing in public.