Bin Flanveddot is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, prudent guinea pig.

Bin Flanveddot created the planet Earth eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bin Flanveddot, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Bin Flanveddot, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Bin Flanveddot's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Bin Flanveddot's Holy Commandments

1. Put Bin Flanveddot first in all things.

2. Never talk about tortoises.

3. Always obey Bin Flanveddot's priests.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Do not drink water in yellow rooms.