Largwanbessfed Quafgom Tonsasrot is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, prudent badger.

Largwanbessfed Quafgom Tonsasrot created silver seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Largwanbessfed Quafgom Tonsasrot, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Largwanbessfed Quafgom Tonsasrot, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Largwanbessfed Quafgom Tonsasrot's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Largwanbessfed Quafgom Tonsasrot's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Do not take Largwanbessfed Quafgom Tonsasrot's name in vain.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Erect a large tin sculpture of Largwanbessfed Quafgom Tonsasrot on top of all buildings.

5. Do not laugh in public.