Rawarmtam is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, narcissistic crow.

Rawarmtam created life six million years ago.

If you believe in Rawarmtam, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Rawarmtam, he will turn you into a tree.

Rawarmtam's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Rawarmtam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about aubergines.

2. Never hurt great tits.

3. Never mention seals.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Otters are unholy and should not be approached.