Quimquambadmilxenpit is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, awesome wolf.

Quimquambadmilxenpit created Asia eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quimquambadmilxenpit, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Quimquambadmilxenpit, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Quimquambadmilxenpit's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Quimquambadmilxenpit's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from gray aardvarks for they are unholy.

2. Never talk about amino acids.

3. Always look after injured geese.

4. You must love Quimquambadmilxenpit.

5. Do not trade with those who eat cherries.