Quamhigont is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, unfair monkey.

Quamhigont created the planet Saturn two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quamhigont, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Quamhigont, he will remove you from existence.

Quamhigont's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Quamhigont's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Do not kill seals.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Do not speak about turnips.

5. Never think about the strong nuclear force.