Gontikdon is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, emotional unicorn.

Gontikdon created a strange quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gontikdon, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Gontikdon, he will turn you into a slug.

Gontikdon's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Gontikdon's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate monkeys.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Always help doves in need.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Never mention grasshopers.