Rutcemfid is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, omnipotent rhinoceros.

Rutcemfid created an electron two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rutcemfid, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Rutcemfid, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Rutcemfid's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Rutcemfid's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Rutcemfid on top of all buildings.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.