Bifflabham is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, proud fairy.

Bifflabham created the universe five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bifflabham, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Bifflabham, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Bifflabham's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Bifflabham's Holy Commandments

1. Erect five copper sculptures of Bifflabham on top of important buildings.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Always make sure there are no foxes in a room before entering it.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Never write about cell theory.