Largsasvab is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, smart newt.

Largsasvab created dark matter two years ago.

If you believe in Largsasvab, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Largsasvab, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Largsasvab's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Largsasvab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Always help tortoises in need.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Put Largsasvab first in all things.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.