Titlamnutbif is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, humane lion.

Titlamnutbif created the planet Venus six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Titlamnutbif, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Titlamnutbif, she will destroy your home solar system.

Titlamnutbif's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Titlamnutbif's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Do not trade with those who eat peas.

3. Always make sure there are no moths in a building before entering it.

4. Always obey Titlamnutbif's priests.

5. Never wear boots.