Venhubstancettonkjap is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, pitiless eagle.

Venhubstancettonkjap created oxygen nine million years ago.

If you believe in Venhubstancettonkjap, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Venhubstancettonkjap, it will turn you into a dog.

Venhubstancettonkjap's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Venhubstancettonkjap's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear cyan.

2. Never go into brown rooms.

3. Run away if three sheep approach from the east.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Venhubstancettonkjap.

5. You must never eat figs.