Dissfutfum is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, grumpy hydra.

Dissfutfum created light four years ago.

If you believe in Dissfutfum, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Dissfutfum, he will turn you into a slug.

Dissfutfum's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Dissfutfum's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Dissfutfum's priests.

2. Never eat figs.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate snails.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Never think about stars.