Hubtadquim is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, fast turtle.

Hubtadquim created the Black Eye Galaxy three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hubtadquim, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Hubtadquim, it will boil you in a big pot.

Hubtadquim's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Hubtadquim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Do not take Hubtadquim's name in vain.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Do not speak about corn.

5. Do not wear mauve clothing.