Garmiptailloopdabster Quamdossyarzen is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, wise goose.

Garmiptailloopdabster Quamdossyarzen created bats eight million years ago.

If you believe in Garmiptailloopdabster Quamdossyarzen, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Garmiptailloopdabster Quamdossyarzen, it will turn you into a snail.

Garmiptailloopdabster Quamdossyarzen's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Garmiptailloopdabster Quamdossyarzen's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about asteroids.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

4. Never mention pigs.

5. Do not wear pink clothing.