Farquimveg is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, humorless cat.

Farquimveg created the planet Earth eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Farquimveg, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Farquimveg, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Farquimveg's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Farquimveg's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit in the presence of hamsters.

2. Never talk about geese.

3. Farquimveg loves snails, so they must be honoured.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.