Yakbutjatvol is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, pitiless fly.

Yakbutjatvol created a strange quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yakbutjatvol, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Yakbutjatvol, it will destroy your home solar system.

Yakbutjatvol's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Yakbutjatvol's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Yakbutjatvol loves hamsters, so they must be honoured.

3. Yakbutjatvol loves ants, so they must be respected.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.