Tafbitgar is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, uncaring pigeon.

Tafbitgar created a Higgs boson seven million years ago.

If you believe in Tafbitgar, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tafbitgar, she will destroy your favourite star.

Tafbitgar's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Tafbitgar's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if four doves approach from the east.

2. Put Tafbitgar first in all things.

3. Do not run in public.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Retreat if six turtles approach from the west.