Cuttettiflam Hugmotvab is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, wise deer.

Cuttettiflam Hugmotvab created the universe two billion years ago.

If you believe in Cuttettiflam Hugmotvab, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Cuttettiflam Hugmotvab, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Cuttettiflam Hugmotvab's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Cuttettiflam Hugmotvab's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat wheat.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Cuttettiflam Hugmotvab.

4. Cuttettiflam Hugmotvab must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.