Bidtalkip is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, strong weasel.

Bidtalkip created the planet Earth three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bidtalkip, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Bidtalkip, he will turn you into a worm.

Bidtalkip's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Bidtalkip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not bounce in public.

2. You must never eat spinach.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Bidtalkip.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Do not make images of living things.