Kencardub is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, happy walrus.

Kencardub created a top quark four years ago.

If you believe in Kencardub, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Kencardub, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Kencardub's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Kencardub's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick tapirs.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Always help sick frogs.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.