Gedrotjin is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, merciless lobster.

Gedrotjin created a down quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gedrotjin, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Gedrotjin, she will turn you into a snail.

Gedrotjin's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Gedrotjin's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat goats with great respect.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Erect eight nickel sculptures of Gedrotjin on top of important buildings.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.