Futkomhiv Rillyikwee is a god.
He takes the form of a very long, all-knowing
rhinoceros.
Futkomhiv Rillyikwee created viruses three million years ago.
If you believe in
Futkomhiv Rillyikwee, he will answer your prayers.
If you do not believe in
Futkomhiv Rillyikwee, he will send two she bears to sort you out.
Futkomhiv Rillyikwee's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.
Futkomhiv Rillyikwee's Holy Commandments1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.
2. Do not shave your feet.
3. Never write about cell theory.
4. Do not eat bananas.
5. Never feed peanuts to pigs while wearing orange trousers.