Pagfagapp is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, unselfish cat.

Pagfagapp created the planet Mars three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pagfagapp, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Pagfagapp, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Pagfagapp's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Pagfagapp's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt gulls.

2. Pagfagapp must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Doves are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Do not kill snails.