Stipdantif is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, all-knowing goblin.

Stipdantif created the planet Saturn nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Stipdantif, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Stipdantif, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Stipdantif's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Stipdantif's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Never wear coats.

4. Run away if four pigs approach from the west.

5. Do not kill goats.