Cissabbaf is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, unselfish zebra.

Cissabbaf created a down quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Cissabbaf, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Cissabbaf, he will turn you into a mouse.

Cissabbaf's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Cissabbaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Always help snails in need.

5. Never wear coats.