Vonpibraw is a god.
He takes the form of a very heavy, almighty
eagle.
Vonpibraw created tapeworms two thousand years ago.
If you believe in
Vonpibraw, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.
If you do not believe in
Vonpibraw, he will turn you into a hamster.
Vonpibraw's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.
Vonpibraw's Holy Commandments1. Do not stand on grass.
2. Feed all hungry rats.
3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.
4. Show mercy to disobedient children.
5. Always help sick whales.