Gutbafxucpak is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, effective eagle.

Gutbafxucpak created the planet Saturn six billion years ago.

If you believe in Gutbafxucpak, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Gutbafxucpak, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Gutbafxucpak's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Gutbafxucpak's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear orange shoes.

2. Do not trade with those who eat apples.

3. Do not shave your chest.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Feed all hungry sharks.