Hashatvonklog Capyarpfat is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, ruthless skunk.

Hashatvonklog Capyarpfat created Asia two years ago.

If you believe in Hashatvonklog Capyarpfat, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Hashatvonklog Capyarpfat, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Hashatvonklog Capyarpfat's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Hashatvonklog Capyarpfat's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at asteroids.

2. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

3. Do not wear green clothing.

4. Always help sick sheep.

5. Pray towards the south.