Arfzakdiss Banyakwod is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, happy lion.

Arfzakdiss Banyakwod created gold eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Arfzakdiss Banyakwod, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Arfzakdiss Banyakwod, she will turn you into a snail.

Arfzakdiss Banyakwod's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Arfzakdiss Banyakwod's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed figs to pigs while wearing pink jumpers.

2. Erect a large silver sculpture of Arfzakdiss Banyakwod on top of all buildings.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Never eat green fruit.