Bomvonbim Stiptifcen is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, happy human.

Bomvonbim Stiptifcen created time and space two billion years ago.

If you believe in Bomvonbim Stiptifcen, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Bomvonbim Stiptifcen, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Bomvonbim Stiptifcen's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Bomvonbim Stiptifcen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Bomvonbim Stiptifcen.

3. Never paint your face turquoise.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.