Xuck is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, kind lobster.

Xuck created life four billion years ago.

If you believe in Xuck, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Xuck, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Xuck's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Xuck's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear orange clothing.

2. Do not shave your arms.

3. Erect a large tin sculpture of Xuck on top of all buildings.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate mites.

5. Always treat cats with great respect.