Kikyimrut is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, intelligent crow.

Kikyimrut created light four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kikyimrut, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Kikyimrut, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Kikyimrut's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Kikyimrut's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about amino acids.

2. Do not wear lead on your body.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Do not laugh in public.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.