Safbellbag is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, quiet mongoose.

Safbellbag created an up quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Safbellbag, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Safbellbag, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Safbellbag's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Safbellbag's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Safbellbag.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. You must never eat nuts.

4. Always help goats.

5. Hide if nine badgers approach from the north.