Hakvogpod is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, able newt.

Hakvogpod created life three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hakvogpod, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Hakvogpod, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Hakvogpod's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Hakvogpod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear cyan clothing.

2. Never write about black holes.

3. Never mention ants.

4. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

5. Never wear stockings.