Vabcebwik is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, awe-inspiring eagle.

Vabcebwik created a down quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Vabcebwik, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Vabcebwik, he will turn you into a frog.

Vabcebwik's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Vabcebwik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear red clothing.

2. Always help sick voles.

3. Never feed garlic to hamsters while wearing yellow shirts.

4. Run away from pink birds, for they are unholy.

5. Do not drink water in white rooms.