Timparklarn is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, wise gnu.

Timparklarn created a quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Timparklarn, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Timparklarn, it will try to impress you with trees.

Timparklarn's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Timparklarn's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Shrews are not to be trusted.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never pour water over plants.